Worst Bleep: 2am- I've forgotten to give the patient a sleeping tablet- should i wake her up and give it to her

Katie:
2am- I've forgotten to give the patient a sleeping tablet- should i wake her up and give it to her!!!

Chris:
"Ah yes, I just thought I'd let you know, the patient's temperature has dropped from 37.7 to 37.6"
Unbelievable.....!!!

Sanjay:
HER:
“I’ve just got blood results back on one of my patients and I’m a bit concerned about one of his blood levels”.
ME:
“Which one?”
HER:
“Well, his bilirubin is less than two”
ME:
“Well ring up biochemistry and order four bags of bilirubin”...
So she did. And became quite enraged with biochem for refusing her urgent request for such a life-threatening condition.
Apparently a complaint was put in against my good self, for making her look stupid.
It’s plain to see that I can’t possibly take ALL the credit.

Sanj:
1am:-

N:- Is that Dr. patel?
Me: Yes.
N:- Are you the Dr. on-call?
me: Yes.
N:- Oh good. I'm new here and wanted to check that I understood how to bleep.


What would you do?
a) Go to the ward and beat the c--p out of said N.
b) Scream, swear, shout etc.
c) Breathe deeply and try to minimise catecholamine release to maximise the chances of falling asleep again.

Alan:
Nurse: Can you come see this patient, his BP is high?
Me: Ok, what is it.....
...............(frantic rummaging of paper audible).............
Nurse: 155
Me: Whats the diastolic?
Nurse: Whats that?
...............(maybe should have hung up at this point?).............
Me: the lower number (inaudible sigh)
Nurse: Oh I don't look at that, I just know if the big number is above 150 or below 90, I should call you.
................(dial tone).................

Louise
Woman with known ascites.
3:30 AM bleep

N - Mrs X's abdo circumference is now 106cm.
Me - Ehhh.
N - it was 105.5cm earlier today.
Me - OK.
N - So you are happy about that?
Me - Well no I'm not "happy" about it but there is definately nothing that needs doing about it at 0330....