Will:
Neurosurgery on-call, nights, been absolutely beasted till 3:30am.
Finally got to bed, then finally got to sleep.
4:10 am the bleep lights up and I answer it....
"Dr we've found a stethoscope on the ward, just wondering if it's yours...."
That nurse didnt live till the end of the shift at 7:30am.
James:
3am
N "Can you just help us with something?"
HO "What?"
N "Can you come and change a light bulb for us?"
HO *CENSORED
Tom:
I heard of someone who was bleeped at 2 am asking to come to ward and prescribe a sleeping tablet. On arrival on the ward the doctor asked the patient what was wrong. She replied: "Well I was fast asleep but the nurse woke me up to ask if I needed a sleeping tablet to get to sleep. Now I can't get back to sleep."
Thanks.
Keith:
N: Can you please come and certify death on Mrs. XXX in room 12
Me: Sure thing
(I then stumble to the darkened ward, find room 12, and go in. I put my hand on the patient and shake her. Patient wakes up and screams)
Me: AAAARGHHHH!!!!
I run back out to the nurses desk ...
N: Oops, we meant room 21 not room 12 ... sorry!
Siddhartha:
As a House officer;
Nurse; Hello is that that the HO on call
Me; Yes
Nurse; Erm i don't know how to tell you this
Me; What? What's happened?
Nurse; Erm, well you know "X"
Me; No, i am on call so i have no idea whats wrong with them. Whats happened?
Nurse; Well we need to to re-write her drug chart.
Me; Why?
Nurse; Well she is demented, and took her drug chart and tore it up and used it to wipe her.....
Me; Oh God, what's left on the chart.
Nurse; Well we have wiped some of it off and can see Digoxin.
Andrew
Me: Hi, it's Andrew the house officer, what's up?
Nurse: One of our ladies needs reviewed.
Me: What's the problem?
Nurse: I'm not sure: it was handed over to me.
Me: What's her name.
Nurse: ermmmmm, Mrs X
Me: What's wrong with her?
Nurse: I don't know
Me: What are her obs?
Nurse: I don't know
Me: Is she surgical or medical as I don't cover the surgical side
Nurse: I don't know
Me: AARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!
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