1. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Be sure to use plenty of symbols such as Pi.
2. On the answer sheet find a new interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question due to the fact that I was absent from the lesson.
3. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.
4. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”
5. Every 5 minutes or so, stretch back and lean over the person’s desk that is behind you. Make sure you don’t make eye contact and stretch your arms as far as you can.
6. Comment on the oldest female examiner you can see about how sexy they are looking today.
7. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, “Okay, let’s double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E….”
8. Start randomly making “shhhh” noises every 10 minutes. Or alternatively “yesssss” noises after you answer every question.
9. Bring a very random vegetable such as a whole cucumber and put it on your desk. When the teacher asks why it is there yell at them that you might die from scurvy.
10. Start violently shaking your table and making loud noises and shout EAARRRTHHQUAAKKKE!
11. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”
12. Grab every pen or writing implement you have and bundle it in your hand. Suddenly throw it all up high in random directions and scream “METEORS!”
13. Run up to the front and tap loudly on the microphone and say “Chicken check, microphone check 123; has anybody laid an egg yet?”
14. Ask the teacher what the test is on right before you take it. The resulting look of dismay is always priceless.
15. Ask to use the restroom. If the teacher does not let you, start crying that you are going to pee your pants like a baby. If he/she does, make your way to the restrooms by taking the longest possible route by constantly weaving in and out of students desks, each time “accidentally” bumping into them.
16. Challenge the person next to you to a “penis” competition where you compete to say it the loudest each successive time until it reaches screaming point.
17. Refuse to meet the supervisor’s demands of taking the exam unless he or she places you right next to the biggest hottie/slut in the room.
18. Walk into the exam room without shoes but just socks. If anyone questions it tell them its part of your Japanese tradition and that if they don’t approve of it you will report him/her for discrimination.
19. Announce in the most sincere voice loudly that there has been a misprint in the last 5 questions and that everyone gets free marks for them.
20. Stand up and start randomly probing yourself with a ruler. If anyone says anything against it say “Well it’s a prostate exam isn’t it?”
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